As we have been spending the past couple weeks preparing to renew our license for foster care. So many thoughts and emotions press on my soul. Foster care is not for the faint heart.
Foster care is heartbreaking.
Foster care is rewarding.
Foster care is my calling.
Foster care makes me want to scream at the top of the lungs.
Foster care brings immense joy to my soul.
We are discussing changing our license to 3. We want to touch more lives. We also have to face a harsh reality that this current placement may not last to adoption. Any future placement may not turn into adoption.
People ask all the time, “How do you do this? How can you stand the thought of giving them back?”
Seriously? Is this easy? N-O!
The idea of handing back children who were taken from their homes for a reason is terrifying. I am suppose to have faith in the court system. Well, boy oh boy, I do not.
I have to have faith in God. I have faith that God will somehow mend my heart for those goodbyes. I have faith that God will see me through the ending of a placement and/or a new placement.
There are absolutely no guarantees the twins will stay with us or that any foster child will stay with. I don’t think I am okay with, well I am definitely not okay with it. Regardless it is what I signed up for.
The one guarantee that I can count on is God. Jeremy and I pray constantly for the twins and their future–regardless of what that future will be.