Trust? Huh, what is that?

I am trying to put into words the emotions of the past two days.

Heartbreaking

Heavy heart

Tears

Dread

Disbelief

Prayer

God

Confusion

Miracles?

Holding my breath

Could it be?

Really?

Huh?

He said, she said.

These words float within and out of my head as I think of the past two days. Can I really elaborate more about what is going on in our lives? Nope. Does that stink? Yep.

Foster care, case plans, case managers, and justice system make my head spin. My head spins because we woke up yesterday thinking one thing and that afternoon our hearts were instantly broken. We went to bed with determination and on our knees in prayer. We woke up this morning trying to find a way to cope through this hot mess. This afternoon we received a phone call and now another 180 degree turn.

I am so confused.

I am hurt.

I am hopeful.

At the end of the day, I have to learn trust God on this one. Trusting God can be difficult on something so big that we want control over. Control, a funny word. We so desperately crave it but it brings just more stress.

I have to learn how to let go and trust God. I have to take a deep breath and turn it over. A struggle in my life.

28 Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.
29 He gives strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
30 Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
31 Yet those who [a]wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will [b]mount up with [c]wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary. -Isaiah 40:28-31

I am working on this verse.

Please continue to pray our family.

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