What the state of Florida does not prepare you for…

As a foster parent when you take a child into your house you know two scenarios will take place in that child’s life. The child will be reunited with their family or there will be a termination of parental rights. Many times the child is reunited or placed with family. After a termination of parental rights take place a child is eligible for adoption, the foster family has “dibs” on the foster child. Which honestly makes sense, the child has been in the household and has formed a bond. If the foster parent doesn’t have interest in adopting then the children are able to be adopted with no to little cost for the “general public”.

These are the things you are prepared for when you take a MAPP class (mandatory parenting class in order to foster or adopt in the state of Florida). This is a reality that I have always known and prepared my heart for to take place.

This is where I was fooled.

In the state of Florida, apparently for the past year and half, a parent who has a child in the foster care system can choose private adoption until the day their rights are terminated. This means the parent can have a child in the foster care system for YEARS and then choose to sign over their rights to a private adoption agency and pick their child(ten)’s new parents. This means a foster child can be taken from a foster home that would adopt the said child and be placed elsewhere by the mother’s choosing.

Why in the world does this happen? Apparently it boils down to money and private adoption agencies not having enough children.

This is what I was not prepared for.

This is a brand new level of potential heartache.

This is what makes me want to walk away from foster care forever.

This is what makes me question what in the world were we thinking.

This is what makes me want to cling to A and beg for her forgiveness that I did this to her.

This is what makes me cry at night.

This changes my prayer for all foster children and foster parents.

This makes my heart want to cry out and ask why.


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